Thursday, August 28, 2014

Living Under the Power of a Lie

I recently realized that my tendency to be slow in the morning was an old belief about it being my responsibility to keep violence and conflict in control.  It is a belief that developed when I was a around eleven or twelve and all of us kids experienced an extremely violent display towards one of our brothers.   

Children do not really have a way of sorting these things out except in a way that it is somehow their fault.  They were not responsible enough.  They did not do or they did do something that caused this problem.  The adult responsibility for this inappropriate behavior is placed on them; the children pick up this burden in some way...either in perfectionism or in their own inappropriate behavior which is the working out of rage and/or deep grief.  Both extremes are an acting out of the trauma. 

I have noticed in the last several years that I really dread mornings, but I had not figured out why.  It is really a catch-twenty two situation because I love mornings!  Listening to the bird's sing, companionship with the glorious trees, sunshine, and quiet time with the Lord...what is not to like? 

In my young life there was something unpleasant (or the threat of something unpleasant) going on most of the time.  As soon as your feet hit the floor the stuff started and so did the responsibility.  As soon as your feet hit the floor--very telling words that explain my tendency to procrastinate in the morning.  If my feet do not hit the floor maybe I get to enjoy this peace a little longer? 

I have only become aware of this in the last several years of my life as I have entered that stage of less responsibility at home with more quite time.  This is a good example of have a lie can be driving you for years when there is not a logical reason for it.  Although the violence was in the past, the lie that I had to worry about violence and be responsible for controlling it was still there. 

I recently visited with a man who told me a little of his story.  He was seeking help for anxiety/panic.  He and siblings had been removed from their home due to all kinds of violence and abuse when he was six.  He was the oldest.  From six to fourteen, he did his best to take care of the others while they were in foster homes and other places...still being abused at times.  He, too, had a program that he could not relax because bad things would happen.  It has been causing health problems for years.  He is now in his forties and putting all the pieces together.    

Maybe recognizing his pain helped me get in touch with my own so I could find healing over this lie this morning.  The Scripture says to confess our faults to one another that we may find healing.  That is one of the things that seems to happen regularly at Lea's NHS.  When the lies and suppressed pain are exposed to the light of God's healing love, we all find healing.   Praise God! 

All our stories are a huge expose on evil.  Every recovery is a grand manifestation of God's Grace.  In the Garden of Eden, Adam and Eve chose to know good and evil.  We have all been experiencing the sins of the fathers/mothers ever since.  Even Science is now validating this principle.  Our way out is this confessing our faults (which are the result of wounds) to another and being healed.  The light dispels the darkness.  The real secret to our success in this is to be sure that we are sharing these things with those who are trustworthy.  I have seen people get up the courage to share something in a group setting, and immediately the group starts shutting down.  They do not know what to do with it all.  We need to be wise with whom we share these things.  

I have had requests for a training class on energy techniques that help you process stress/emotional/spiritual issues to find freedom.  Please let me know if you want your name added to the list of names to attend.  Also, let me know if you need daytime class or evening class.  God Bless.

No comments:

Post a Comment