Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. Phillipians 4:11
As many of you know, I have been experiencing physical difficulties in the last two months including a hospital stay. As I am answering the many beautiful love-filled cards I’ve received, I am filled with gratitude for all the precious people that I have had the opportunity to know and love. I do not know what the future holds, but I know who holds the future. God has never let me down.
I was talking to my daughter with whom I am staying right now about how strange it is to look toward a future that is just a blank. You just cannot see or know what is unknown and unfamiliar. What we have done is gone. What we have been is over. How quickly things have changed. My sister said it is a blank canvas. In some ways that is comforting; in some ways it is not. No matter what my experience has been, I try to find the lesson and the silver lining. I have to admit that this time it has been a challenge.
Being in the hospital is a challenge for the patient and those trying to help no matter if they are the family or the hospital staff. One thing I learned is what big, loving hearts the nurses and other staff have as they endeavor to take care of you. I felt like they were angels in disguise. I also learned you really do need the help of those non-staff people (family and/or friends) who are willing to help you. Even the help moving the pole with all the wires that you are connected to when you need to go to the bathroom was a place of gratitude for me. Getting in/out of your bed when your are weak is such sweet help. Raising or lowering the bed when you cannot reach the buttons due to IV lines and other wires is so helpful…nothing worse than being uncomfortable and having no one to help with that.
If you are weak when you go into hospital, you will probably be weaker when you come out…at least I was. The lack of sleep, the lack of movement, and just the stress of all the processes and procedures is very energy depleting. Not being heard by the doctors…they already seem to have their minds made up. I had one doctor who was not like this, and I appreciated him so much. Having family or someone who helps you remember everything. It is amazing how many times you have to tell the same info to different people…no matter how bad you feel.
I am looking out the window of my daughter’s lovely home. The sun is finally shining after days of snow and/or sleet or rain. How lovely is the sun. Gratitude…that was something that amazed me in the hospital. Overton and I both were quick to express gratitude and thanks to the staff. They seemed so grateful to hear a kind word. One nursing instructor said that she would tell the staff and students my kind words because they did not often hear the good. How sad. It reminded me of the importance of being kind and speaking gratitude. No one has to save your life. No one has to be kind in their daily rounds. The fact that this staff was that way in spite of it all speaks volumes to me about the human spirit to rise above difficulties.
I was talking today via text to a dear friend, Cathy, and she said I should do a chapel note about these things as I am not the only one going through a hard time. I had been thinking about the next “from the chapel” note and the word redemption kept going through my mind.
This experience has taught me another side of redemption. Redemption can be seen as change…past, present, future. When you look at the story of Zacheus you see that his past is redeemed (he made up for his mistakes), his present and future are forever changed in his encounter with the Lord. A hospital stay or a sickness has its place of redemption. Will we hear the story in our situations? Will we observe what is easy to overlook…kindness, gratitude, our own awarenesses and truth encounters, our own fears and those of others. Even in our sickness, we have an opportunity to let go of the past and move into a redeemed place. Praise God!
Thank you for all of those who have helped me during this time from the hospital staff to family and friends who have reached out in visits and cards. This, too, has been a redemption.
