Children do not really have a way of sorting these things
out except in a way that it is somehow their fault. They were not responsible enough. They did not do or they did do something that
caused this problem. The adult
responsibility for this inappropriate behavior is placed on them; the children
pick up this burden in some way...either in perfectionism or in their own
inappropriate behavior which is the working out of rage and/or deep grief. Both extremes are an acting out of the
trauma.
I have noticed in the last several years that I really dread
mornings, but I had not figured out why.
It is really a catch-twenty two situation because I love mornings! Listening to the bird's sing, companionship
with the glorious trees, sunshine, and quiet time with the Lord...what is not
to like?
In my young life there was something unpleasant (or the
threat of something unpleasant) going on most of the time. As soon as your feet hit the floor the stuff
started and so did the responsibility.
As soon as your feet hit the floor--very telling words that explain my
tendency to procrastinate in the morning.
If my feet do not hit the floor maybe I get to enjoy this peace a little
longer?
I have only become aware of this in the last several years
of my life as I have entered that stage of less responsibility at home with
more quite time. This is a good example
of have a lie can be driving you for years when there is not a logical reason
for it. Although the violence was in the
past, the lie that I had to worry about violence and be responsible for
controlling it was still there.
I recently visited with a man who told me a little of his
story. He was seeking help for
anxiety/panic. He and siblings had been
removed from their home due to all kinds of violence and abuse when he was
six. He was the oldest. From six to fourteen, he did his best to take
care of the others while they were in foster homes and other places...still
being abused at times. He, too, had a
program that he could not relax because bad things would happen. It has been causing health problems for
years. He is now in his forties and
putting all the pieces together.
Maybe recognizing his pain helped me get in touch with my
own so I could find healing over this lie this morning. The Scripture says to confess our faults to
one another that we may find healing.
That is one of the things that seems to happen regularly at Lea's
NHS. When the lies and suppressed pain
are exposed to the light of God's healing love, we all find healing. Praise God!
All our stories are a huge expose on evil. Every recovery is a grand manifestation of
God's Grace. In the Garden of Eden, Adam
and Eve chose to know good and evil. We
have all been experiencing the sins of the fathers/mothers ever since. Even Science is now validating this
principle. Our way out is this
confessing our faults (which are the result of wounds) to another and being healed. The light dispels the darkness. The real secret to our success in this is to
be sure that we are sharing these things with those who are trustworthy. I have seen people get up the courage to
share something in a group setting, and immediately the group starts shutting
down. They do not know what to do with
it all. We need to be wise with whom we
share these things.
I have had requests for a training class on energy
techniques that help you process stress/emotional/spiritual issues to find
freedom. Please let me know if you want your
name added to the list of names to attend.
Also, let me know if you need daytime class or evening class. God Bless.
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