Meanderings

Do you ever just watch life as an observer?  In your heart you are curious about what God is going to do next.  It is like you are not exactly involved in the action anymore; you are just watching from the sidelines.  I have been feeling a lot of this lately.  What kind of place is this? 

Do you think you have some answers to life?  Then things move along, and you realize that those answers do not work...and maybe, just maybe, you do not even know what the questions are.  Another realization is...what if the answers you thought you had do not matter anyway?   

There is research in physics that proves that we get that for which we are looking.  That is amazing.  Maybe having a mindset a certain way creates the answers we think we need or are correct.  Maybe those answers are just correct for oneself...created in my image.  I am not really talking about absolutes like God is love.  It is all the other stuff that I am questioning.  Maybe instead of looking for an answer that is either/or, the answer is really a great, big resounding "yup" to both either/or.   

I have found that usually my questions on things are self-serving.  I am trying to maintain my comfort level in some way.  If I say that something is stupid, it is more a statement that it is not what makes me comfortable.  Then, we tend to put ourselves into groups that think the same things are stupid.  If enough of us think "that" is stupid, then we are all safe.   

This seems like a strange meandering this morning.  The last year, I think that I have been more of the observer than the person with THE answer.  It is really a great relief.  It actually feels rather freeing to realize that the world has not come to an end because I did not extend an answer.  Actually, maybe the world has taken on a different reality because I did not extend an answer...maybe someone else got to stand in the place and do some creating for a while! 

God says that everything has its season.  Maybe the same is true with questions, answers, and observations.  Do I have anything worthwhile to say in this meandering?  Will it matter?  Years ago, I lead a support group for women.  It was a great experience.  When I moved from that city to another one, I asked God if I had made any difference to anyone in the group.  His answer was amazing!  "You are the one to whom you have made a difference.  When the others need some answers, they may think on the seeds that you have planted."  What a beautiful understanding that God spoke over me.  It kind of reminds me of the Bible story where the Lord told Peter that he would be crucified, too, before his end came.  Peter then asked about John...what would be his fate.  Jesus said, "What is that to you?"   

The Lord was basically telling me that I did what He wanted me to do in that situation.  I was faithful with that assignment.  I could say that I had finished my course as far as that effort went.  We all want to make a difference to others, however, that may not be why you are being obedient to your assignment.  Immediate results can be deceiving.  Look at the crucifixion. 

In all the meandering this morning, I encourage you to be faithful your assignment right now.  The one who is getting something out of it, the one who is being blessed by this, is you.  If we could look at things from the standpoint of having a wonderful opportunity to paint a picture in this moment and expressing ourselves beautifully, then maybe responsibilities would feel more fun and less heavy.  We have all been taught that life is so tough and hard and we have to be responsible.  What if it really is a beautiful opportunity of expression?  I kind of like that thought.